My Precious Moments

No reason

2012-02-12T00:51:00.001+08:00

I have no reason to be upset but Im.
I always am and it sucks.
I feel like closed in.
Like...
Like nothing seems right anymore.
I want to scream.
Shout.
Cry.
I don't know what's wrong.
Home seem so austere.
I have a pretty decent life.
I have no idea why. This. Always. Happens. To. Me:(
I really dub have the heart for anything right now.
Im losing it.
This real close.
No kidding.

Day 32

2012-02-09T20:35:00.001+08:00

I hate how my life changed and everything making me wanna go back to square one:(

Frankly

2012-02-06T21:33:00.001+08:00

I wish so much to be okay soon.
Im completely burnt out.
Tired.
Feeling like an insane person.
In between okay and insanity.
Sigh.

Blank

2012-02-06T10:50:00.003+08:00

I hate being late. I have this thing against lateness. Yeah. But ironically, I was late for my first interview but I still got the job (luckylucky) and was actually early for my second interview :D I guess I hate being late. I have this obsession of getting things that I want to do willingly right and doing them really well. Yeah, it's like an ongoing obsession that I just realised. LOL. okay, I'm getting random.

♥With Love

I

2012-02-02T12:44:00.001+08:00

Im disappearing.

Moments

2012-01-30T17:41:00.001+08:00

I couldnt sleep. I haven't been sleeping well at all. At first, it was the "maybe staying up would help me feel better" then it became the "i cant seem to fall asleep at all" or the "my sleep is always disturbed". I want to fall asleep, wake up fresh the next morning and just smile. But no. Stupid moments like tossing and turning in bed does NOT help at all. It makes me feel all lethargic and sorts. Yes, there is something completely and utterly wrong with me. It's been tough. I just want to be me again but that'll mean losing friendships and sorts which totally sucks. See, all this is getting difficult for me. Veryvery tough on me. Okay. Yup. Uhhuh. Trust me, it doesn't end there. Heh. Other awful stuffs are happening in my life and i cant stand this anymore. My road to recovery is in no way going well. Im hurting more than recovering. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Go.

2012-01-28T16:39:00.001+08:00

It comes back.
It hunts me down.
Every single time Im up, they'll tear me down.
They takr away my sanity.
I dun think I'll EVER be okay.

Everything's Going Wrong

2012-01-17T13:17:00.002+08:00

It's like Im being followed.
It's like it hates me.
It's like it wants to break me into pieces.
It's like nothing actually matters anymore.
It's like I wanted it all to happen.
It's like I deserve all this.
It's like...
It's all falling apart and no one believes me.
They try to help me out.
They try and try but I just can't.
It's pulling me in
It's taking control of me.
It's how no one really wants to know me.
They can't.
It'll hurt them too,
Im hurting people.
Too many people.
♥me

Little thing abt me

2012-01-14T20:38:00.001+08:00

I buy guitar picks for people when Im upset or wen i feel like it.

Hi

2012-01-13T23:08:00.001+08:00

Hi world, im a screw up.
I have no idea what's wrong wif me but who cares right?
And by the way, i know how much people hate me.
Stop telling me.
But thank you very much for hating me.
It makes me a better and crazier person.
xoxo

screw you

2012-01-12T11:42:00.002+08:00

I hate this.
All of this.
The stupid choices Ive gotta make.
The annoying people Ive actually met.
The insane hurt I see around me.
The charade put up.
The scary lies.
The upsetting truth.
The fact that I don't matter.
The tears,
The fake smiles.
The harsh reality.
The feeling like I just want to fall.
The anger that lasts forever.
The secrets you still keep.
The pain you're going thru.
The endless apathy.
dammit.
I cant do this. Not now. Not ever.
♥Why?

Enough,

2012-01-06T12:54:00.000+08:00

Im taking a break from internet.
♥With Love

Im unsure.

2012-01-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

Im always like this at night.
When the sun goes down, Im a sleeping being.
The higher I get, the faster I fall.
I want to know what's wrong.
But I don't want to.
I want to text people and tell them all my troubles.
But I can't bear to see them hurt.
I hate how weak Im.
I want to hide and keep hiding.
I have no will.
No power.
fuckthis.fuckit.fuckisay.fuckhowthisfeels.fuck.fuck.fuck.

♥silence is deafening

Holiday

2012-01-05T12:20:00.002+08:00

♥My best 3 pixs during holiday :D

What if

2012-01-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

What if i told you i dun have the strength to fight?
What if i said i give up?
What if i won't get back up again?
What if...

Eyesonly

2011-12-28T21:43:00.002+08:00

When I see myself in the mirror, I see a liar.
I see a person that doesn't care about herself anymore.
And worst of all, I see a person that doesn't belong.
I label myself by believing what others say about me.
It's not that Im weak, becos I know I am.
But it's becos I'd rather be weak then hurting.

♥With Love

Today.

2011-12-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

I went out with my bestfriend, Ad. It may sound all boring but I realise how much we've changed. She's changing for the better while Im still figuring out what to do with life. Heh. We had a great job, an awesome boss and one heck of a bunch. We may have sailed further apart during the holidays but that never stopped us from being who we really are on this date. People may have considered us to be a pair of idiots running around in Orchard and letting our hair loose but isn't life for living?

We had dinner at BBQ Chicken at night. Me, Ad, Khairina, Firdaus Macho, Azwan Mummy & Heikal. There we a lot to be learnt like how NOT to jinx the workers>.< I was saying that the sauce bottle would drop & break but end up all of them did>.< And how NOT to trip over the Christmas tree and look all flustered about it:) I guess going out with them helped me a little. Help me stop being so pessimistic all the time and help me to understand the true nature of human beings. Some people are worth being part of your life because they never do give up on you even when the time seems right.

♥With Lots of Love

Excuses

2011-12-24T17:48:00.002+08:00

I used to think that I will be fine.
That the day would be fine.
I won't lie but I do act.
I act really well.
I can smile and be happy when all I really feel is apathy.
It's different.
I am different.
No one sees it except me.
I keep tripping on myself.
I told you the half the truth cos the other half would hurt.
It will hurt you then maybe you'll hurt me.
If I had a choice, I would do a lot with these hands and these thoughts.
Some days I want to quit, quit everything that i've ever tried.
"No, I don't wanna be in love anymore.
Cuz I don't wanna lose you
These memories used to mean,
Everything to me
But I can't,
No, I don't want to be in love anymore.
I can't stop what
I can't stop and I
I don't want to be in love anymore."
-Lets Get It - Maps lyrics
So you don't understand what I'm writing right?
Well, neither do I.
I'm just trying to filter everything out of my brain.
Get it out and scream it out if I could.
But guess what?
I can't.
Becos I've lost the courage to talk.
Im scared I'll just break down.
I want it all to stop.
STOP.
People say you have to try to get better.
I don't want to get better.
I don't deserve all this kindness.
I don't want anything anymore.
I don't want people to worry.
Its this guilt that kills me.
i hate what people say.
I hate listening to myself stating excuses after excuses.
Yes, I am insane.
SAY THAT TO MY FACE.
I beg you.

♥Im my own next victim

Must you do this to me?

2011-12-21T20:15:00.001+08:00

People.
Humans.
They are so fuxked up.
Why are there so many people looking at me?
What is my sin?
I know what i did this year could land me in imh but please, dun do this to me.
Im dying inside and i hate this feeling.
I tried my best to hang on but once again, im falling apart.
Take me away, just dun do this to me.
I cant be alone.
U know wats going to happen.
Why?
U know.
This is mental pain.
You KNOW i can cope with physical pain so wat do u want from me?
I cant breathe becos u keep doing this to me.
YOU'LL KILL ME ONE DAY.
you're just waiting and i'm just trying
im gonna gamble with life cos HOPE HAS LEFT ME.

WTF.

2011-12-20T11:03:00.002+08:00

Maybe Im not the perfect being but hey look, stop hurting us.
Im not sure of your intentions but a black heart won't go far.
Im sorry if I had crossed the line but you crossed mine first.
WHY.MUST.YOU.DO.THIS.TO.ME?
Do you know how much I hurt while you wrap everything so perfectly?
Im not sure what im supposed to learn here.
I thought the year would end with a bang but thanks to you, fuck it.
I know I'll try to make it end with a bang.
I WILL.
I don;t want your syizzles to disturb MY YEAR 2011.
Maybe you'll get what Im trying to say some day.
But today, you've just ruined my day.

♥unsure of my reason for living.

Are you there?

2011-12-17T12:57:00.003+08:00

I am super confused now.
There are feelings mixed and people blended together.
I think it's just wrong but my head says it's so right.
It's hard to get by when there are two.
One not available the other not caring enough.
But I'm glad to know people care.
My friends don't think I'm a bitch and I'm happy for it:D
I guess Budak Times made my life totally different.
I used to be this insecure girl but now I know how to let go:D
Budak Times consists of: Azwan, Didien, Faris, Firdaus Cute, Firdaus Macho, Heikal, Hidayah, Khairina, Li Ling, May, Me, Natasha, Syafiqah, Radin, Tze Xin.
*sorry if I missed out anyone>.<
But love those guys and girls, they made my year 2011 super special:D

♥xoxo

Budak Times

2011-12-13T02:12:00.003+08:00

OHMYGOOSE!
It's so ironic how life makes an AWESOME TURN:D
I WAS working at Times at Parkway for the warehouse sale:)
I met a bunch of CRAZY people but they are AWESOME tooxD
Syafiqah, Hidayah, Natasha, Li Ling, May, Marilyn, Tze Xin (aiya, we friends so long already...haha), Jun Hao, Kennard, Didien, Firdaus macho, Firdaus cute, Faris, Radin, Azwan & Heikal:D
We all didn't know each other before this but that's fine.
We all got along fine. WAIT. Better than fine, perfectly:D
We all had our moments of frustration and sickness but we ALL got through itxD
The jokes cracked and words like 'alright~' gets to us and we all start to bond magically.
Our boss, Pappa Guna is also FREAKING awesome. He always look at things at our perspective.
I'll NEVER regret working here no matter how tiring it is:D
Working there had taught me that there is more to friends than just being friends.
Being friends means being able to fill up the awkward moments and also bond in a way that is as strong as a family.
OH! There was also Nura and Ted who had taken us under their wings and taught us valuable things:D
I've had had my fair share of anger while working but everyone's so caring:)
I feel really blessed to have met people like this.
Sometimes, it's so rowdy it comes to the point where peoplejust stare at us. At Mac, on bus 15 and even on our way back from lunch. Hehe^^
BUDAK TIMES ALL THE WAY MANNNNNNNNNNN:D
Love y'all and will be missing you like A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
The last day

♥With Love

Mistakes undone

2011-12-08T10:31:00.004+08:00

Do you hear my heart beating?
I think it's all rasped and painful.
Words people used to makes me smile lingers and crushes me.
I'm not angry, tired or engrossed but suffocated.
Work doesn't help much either.
All I know is that my emotions are on random.
It's like on iPod and always stuck on shuffle.
I think my brain has taken over.
It chants words into my head which lead to destructive behaviour.
People don't get me cos I've an everlasting charade acting out in their eyes.
Would anyone accept me for who I really am?
It's really not the fear that haunts me most.
It's the hurt.

♥Lies that grabs at me.

shotsshotsshotsshotsshots

2011-11-20T08:33:00.002+08:00

Heh.
Meeting Tze Xin later.
I LOVE catching up with her.
It's been so long since I really sat down and think.
All that WAS in my head was answers.
LOL. As is answers for papers.
Now, I'm coherent again!
OHMYGOOSE!
I read my diary, texts and etc and realise how time flies.
& some interesting stuffs tooO.o
Yeap but I guess soon, that'll be the thing of the past
cos world, I AM SUPER FLY:D

♥With LOTS of Love

Us.

2011-11-19T14:39:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was the best night of my life.
I finally had the courage to walk up to him,
(Ad helped though>.<)
But I finally came to realise that life is not that tough after all.
It is we, humans that make is so difficult.
I'm taking one step at the time for everything right now.
I cried this early morning (12-1am plus) after receiving Mais's text.
Life is so fragile.
I've overlooked so many things until last night.
I want to be who I really am.
The high, happy but true friend.
I don't want to be the girl always hiding.
Hiding from the truth and all.
That's just BS.
The feelings for every single one in that hall last night was:
LOVE.
I love every single one of them becos we've been through so much.
Yeah, I may not even know some of them.
but it's what we shared in common that matters.
It's how we cope with life that matters.
It's how we treat the people dearest to us that matters.
Love is a feeling that should be shared.
& now, I can start anew again.
With love, friendship, foes and most importantly, life.

♥With Lots of Love,
Misscandyhearts

The top

2011-11-16T19:23:00.002+08:00

Tell me, life, why must you be so unpredictable?
I thought life is simple but what is the point?
IT HAS NO POINT.
I WALKED IN THE RAIN TODAY AND JUMP IN EVERY WATER PUDDLE!
I FINALLY REALISE o'S IS OVER!!!

♥With Love

Over.

2011-11-15T20:26:00.001+08:00

I'm smiling wide cos I'm done.
I've finished my O's so it's AWESOME rite now.
I'm keeping track with life fine.
I'm gonna have to make sure that I'm able to quite ready,
quite ready for grad night:D

♥With Love

Love they said

2011-10-22T13:58:00.001+08:00

I've gotta keep strong cos the journey is coming to a close soon
I guess trying my best does not give satisfaction
Knowing that I'm done, gives me the satisfaction
Come on!
Let's do this:D

♥With Love

Thank you

2011-10-16T20:51:00.002+08:00

I'm so difficult now.
Everything is so screwed.
SCREW LIFE!

♥With Much Hate.

Lovesick

2011-10-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

I can't stop thinking about you. This is so weird cos I've never really cared bout you for a long time. All the studying may have clouded my head. You're really different because you're unique. I like to run to escape and I guess that's why I like people who keep fit. I was running for the bus today and the bus captain told me "Wah! You run very fast you know? Very fast!" and I was like beaming. So I guess today I'm lovesick. Words cannot describe wat I'm feeling. You shine the light and my life looks so bright and dreamy with you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
♥xoxo

Washed away

2011-10-11T14:49:00.001+08:00

I've gotta study.
STUDY> STUDY> STUDY!

♥With Love

No.

2011-09-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

The prelims just ended.
O's is drawing near so I'm suppose to be mugging.
But no.
I started using Tumblr again. Then addicted to Twitter then just hanging out at Facebook.
Yes.
There is absolutely something wrong with me.
School.
I'm not sure what to look forward to anymore.
Friends.
I'm not careful that's why I got hurt.
Love.
I don't give a fuck.
Me.
I'm never going to be okay at this rate.

♥If only you knew

Hearts

2011-09-28T17:19:00.002+08:00

The anklet is nice and I've been wearing it since the first day of Hari Raya. I'm gonna keep wearing it (even to school) until I've fulfilled my promise and then get a new one.

♥With Love

You

2011-09-15T23:03:00.002+08:00

It doesn't matter where I am becos I know I'm safe.
It doesn't matter where you are becos you're brave.
It doesn't matter how life works becos that's a mystery.
But through it all, you'll always be my friendly shadow.
我喜欢你. Saya Sayang Kamu. Je vous aime.
♥xoxo

Happily Tired

2011-08-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

I dunno how retarded I look in tis picture but I really lyk it.
Happy Birthday to Tiffany Ang Jie Lin.
I really #appreciate how everyone came together^^
Xin, you're still my life saver.
Thanks for helping LOTS(:
Today was simply unforgettable.
It was like REALLY playing Amazing Race.
I LOVE how Christabella was so enthu & how Anisa was soooo rushing.
Haha.
But this was a DAMN good day.
I've not been out since lyk FOREVER.
This was an AWESOME fun.
& also to Xun Kai, who was lyk taking this picture(:
♥With Love

What a shame

2011-07-31T09:48:00.003+08:00

There's the little smile.
We humans, are ohso fragile.
We let ourselves belittled by words.
I let myself die.
I let others blow my light away.
But if this all we've got,
we'll keep holding on to it.
Listen to me sir.
Cos love is a feeling in disguise.
Love.
Hatred.
Anger.
Truth.
Sadness.

♥With Love, Love, Love, Love

the wake

2011-07-15T22:30:00.002+08:00

You know those tears you shed,
those which tastes so bitter?
Do you feel the hurt?
I'm really lost this time.
I need to find my way dammit.

♥almost

Wait. Stop.

2011-07-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

I'll be back fine.
That, I promise you.
One day. Someday.

♥xoxo

b'day.

2011-06-26T19:08:00.002+08:00

sweet 16(:
tyvm to sisters for Reese chocolates,
red Toshiba 500GB hard disk from 1st & 2nd sis,
..... from third sis
&
to the world for this AWESOME day(:

♥Love y'all

smth wrong

2011-06-24T13:58:00.001+08:00

can't post the pictures in order. SORRY!

♥With Love

beau.

2011-06-24T13:27:00.024+08:00

Ten things I like/like more during June Holidays (other than my awesome sisters and my family and my lovely besties):

10: ANGRY BIRDS. They're actually pretty cute!
Saw this in my dream. Dreamt that all humans
angry birds and they're our life points>.<

09:BADMINTON! Haha. I played with some of
kid neighbours and sister & got obsessed over it
all over again.

08: FERRIS WHEELS! They're just nice(: I
wanna go on one some time soon...

07: PENGUINSMr Poppin's Penguins made me in LOVE with THEM! Adorable aren't they?!

06: SMURFS! Its coming to the CINEMAS!

05: CARE BEARS! My eldest sis bought all 4 of
us care bear handphone tinkles so I LOVE them
thanks to her(:

04: BURBERRY! It's my #motivationtostudy!

03: JUSTIN BIEBER! Lol. He's kinda grown up
yeah?

02: HARRY POTTER! I HEARTS IT!!! Waiting
for the movie release.

01:TWITTTTTTTTTER! Haha. Of course la. I've been IN LOVE with TWITTER 'cos I'm super expressive(:

♥LOVE EVERYONE LOTS TODAY!

syizzles

2011-06-22T10:50:00.002+08:00

Let's go to somewhere only we know.
♥when nothin's going right, go left.

Holiday?

2011-06-12T10:20:00.002+08:00

Ok.
There's the hwk.
There's the fun.
There's the #motivation
There's the sleep very early in the mornin'
There's the being super random like crazy. Yah.
So yeah(:
That's about it.

♥There's no in betweens

Burberry wants

2011-06-05T11:46:00.006+08:00

BURBERRY

©Burberry (from http://uk.burberry.com/store/ )

♥#motivation to study(:

you know life?

2011-05-22T10:36:00.002+08:00

Life has a face.
It hides behind masks and expect you to find it.
Life has eyes.
It looks at your innermost desires.
Life is life. On its own.

♥yeah...

Tears

2011-05-18T19:15:00.002+08:00

When there is so much to take in,
let them all out.
I really do not understand where things went wrong.
There are so many tears shed right now.
People around me are getting emotional.
I admit.
I'm also as emotional...
Results:
lyk effyouucccckkkking.
yeah(:

♥With Love

ok.alright.yeah...

2011-05-14T14:08:00.003+08:00

EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVERRRR!
I got the chance to be me for the exam period - me!
It's really cool that I can actually survive with less than 5h of sleep for the past two week or so!
& I'm grateful to the people around me for helping me through some twilight times.
OHOHOH!
& YESH!
I also got a chance to stop slacking!
haha
yeah. results would be syit la.
BUT, worry later,
take BREAK now.
Hehe:)

♥With Love

EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLING(:

2011-05-02T09:54:00.001+08:00

Goodnight, goodbye.
I'll always know who I wanted to be.
I'll always stay grounded I swear.

♥xoxo

Get up. get up.

2011-04-30T19:46:00.001+08:00

Don't contradict my words.
Gosh, you are so unoriginal.
wtf.

♥I'm not me. I'm her.

That's why I die.

2011-04-28T12:23:00.002+08:00

1) My life is effed up.
2) There are hypocrites around me.
3) Backstabbers and bitches.
4) My maid is only coming home on the 12th.
5) My self-confidence is a goner.
6) I can't fulfil my wants for now.
7) No one really cares.

♥That's why i die a little inside.

That's why I smile

2011-04-27T12:17:00.001+08:00

1) You smile.
2) I'm doing well in terms of academic achievements.
3)'Cos I can run.
4) My sisters pamper me.
5) My besties are AWESOME.
6) I have never gotten detention before.
7) I'm still alive.

♥that's why I SMILE(:

Wavering Heart.

2011-04-26T19:29:00.002+08:00

I admit that I am a sensitive kind of girl.

I take words to heart more than not.

I can remember things kinda easily.

I am also an open kind of person.

If you won't tell me what's wrong with me,

Don’t.

But don't judge me by my words.

Becos words alone do not show a round character.

I'm going through a lot right now.

Its okay if you don't give an eff but,

Don’t push it.

Do you have to torment me this way?

I would never hate a person for no reason.

I loathe you so much right now.

But I know not to judge a person.

Letting people in had killed me.

I’m not sure where to go from here.

Am I being melodramatic?

It is becos I’ve been through hurt.

Physically, mentally and maybe, even when I’m dreaming.

At night, I sit up thinking about life.

I think about how privileged I am.

I think about how much I’ve tried and ran away.

I think about dying.

I don’t want pity from these words of mine.

I just want to be IGNORED.

Don’t keep hurting me.

You’re stabbing me with your words.

All of you.

I’m sorry.

That’s all I can say.

♥The end is far away.

reading signs

2011-04-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

You that rolling my eyes dun signify I'm ignoring you.
Is what I'm saying making your head go round?
Well, it doesn't.
Sometimes, I saw the wrong things.
I act out of turn.
I annoy.
I lie.
but there is nothing wrong with imperfections.
becos they bring out love from another.
Some other kind being would love you for your imperfections
And languidly, I'm being pulled down.
I'm saying goodbye.
I can't do anything?
According to you eh?
ACCORDING TO ME, I'M OKAY.

♥Everyday I'm shuffling!

there she goes. there she goes again.

2011-04-24T10:47:00.000+08:00

MYE is drawing closer.
I'm gonna study... i think.
I've been thinking a lot these days...

When everyone has shut you out,
would you be willing to try again?
When no one knows you're there,
would you make them acknowledge your presence?
When you know what is life,
that is when you are really dead.

♥be brutal with words.

enough.

2011-04-09T10:19:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was speech day.
I'm not sure why but I was hit by a train somehow.
My brain was somewhat telling me smth.
You know that feeling that you've not done enough?
I do.
& yesterday, I was motivated.
Again.
Motivated by the unexpected turn of events
& moivated to come back again next year
I want to feel satisfied with my capabilities
I will study.
pay attention.
be less caring (as if more ignorant sort of thing...)
There are also other changes I would make.
yeah...

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY DIANA!

♥Honestly

wished

2011-04-03T11:19:00.001+08:00

I'm trying not to die inside.
You're worth that much.
My friends, mt family & people that I know care.

♥munch

Shape-shifter

2011-03-31T12:00:00.000+08:00

I know myself as one whose emotions are stronger than her being.

Honestly, I know I have a lot of flaws.

I've tried to change but I realised...

Not all of the changes are for the better.

When people notice this change, they approach me.

Ask me.

Question me.

Interiogate me.

But words are foreign to me nowadays.

I can't seem to tell even the ones dearest to me

I'm confused about myself.

I know people care but if I can't, I can't.

I'm going to keep still and silent until I know what to do 'cos rite now, everything's a whirlwind of a effuseeking mess.

♥why?

hungover

2011-03-27T11:52:00.002+08:00

I am amazed at my level of insanity.
I love Mr Paddington Bear(:

♥With Love

bold.

2011-03-21T16:54:00.001+08:00

in 1 second I want to say smth so bad;
goodbye.

♥you left without a note, without a word, without notice.

yummmmmmy(:

2011-03-21T16:26:00.004+08:00

I'm craving them.

♥sweet lil tooth

undoubted

2011-03-19T11:36:00.006+08:00

I want to be able to reach out and touch a soul.
I want to inspire another with just being honest.
I want them to see me beyond the eyes of others.
See me as who I am.
I am human.
I am a teenager.
I have every emotion a person could ever have.
But I am also different.
I look at the world as a kaleidoscope.
In a different nature than others.
Some people think I'm a crank.
But truth be told, I am just a little more special.

I can't say what I want to say.
I show much difference in my life.
The way I live. The way I WANT to live and the way I am risking my ownself for all the syits that I'm going through.
But let's open a new chapter.
Let's hear our own cries.
Don't worry another.
Be sure of yourself.
Understand.
Do.
♥never expect the unexpected.

I've seen/:

2011-03-18T01:01:00.004+08:00

I have so many doubts about me.
I see an empty canvass and I say, 'what a pity'
An elmo is a really adorable creature.
No pity is self pity. Self pity is SELFish.
A lie is a lie till death does in apart? Hell no.
Humans are forgetful. I'm too(:
I
need
a
new
friend.
haha.

CRAZZZZZZZZZY^^
♥xoxo?

So yeah...

2011-03-17T22:54:00.003+08:00

The holidays is utter BS.
Haven't touched on hwk...
Monday was... monday.
Got sick on Tues (gastric flu)
Had a shaky Wednesday.
Thursday went out in the morning to shop a little then cut hair wif Tiffany AJL who shld be a haircut consultant wen she grows up. She's real gd(:
Friday suppose to be out. So yeah. Tmr. is. FRIDAY!!!

Thanks Tiff for a great day(:

♥xoxo

I close my eyes

2011-03-12T08:46:00.002+08:00

#prayforjapan.
There are always words but a million excuses.
There are always opportunities but I let them slip by.
I want to tell my parents so many things.
But the courage is hidden some place else.

♥xoxo

somehow

2011-03-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

Please dun cry.
I dun wan to see regret in those eyes.
You deserve happiness and that's all to it.
I want you to reach those stars above.
But I can't bear to see your pain.
If I could, I would.
If I knew how to, I would have reacted accordingly.
Now you know, how much I notice.
Nothing is small.
That is a lie.
Eveything impacts everyone.
It's just that you & them impacts me most.
Please be fine.
Dun wanna see that from you again.
No more.

♥stop those tears

paranoia is an addiction

2011-03-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

The title says it all.
Level camp-.-"
Anyway, I'm a little distant from the world.
Don't know what's up but...
oh well...

♥jumping off walls(:

They. Them.

2011-03-06T10:06:00.000+08:00

What happens when you can't even face yourself?
Do you crumble and let yourself be taken over?
I did.
I surrendered.
I'm attention-seeking, I'm bossy, I'm undeserving of love, I'm paranoid, I'm jealous, I'm hopeless, I'm a terrible person, I'm everything except a human.
That's what I am in their eyes.
Tell me something world,
why did you stop me when I was giving up?
Why did you give me multiple replies?
Why did you give me a second chance?
If I was to die, would you help me through?
I hope you do.
Thank you.

♥i'm writing between these -----

question marks

2011-03-03T21:22:00.002+08:00

I'm a little confused here.
If you hate me, dun tag on my board.
It's a easy as that.
On a lighter note,
actually no.
I dun hav a lighter note.

♥choked

simple past? Nope

2011-03-02T16:00:00.003+08:00

I'm a little matchgirl.
Burn me.
lol.
ANYWAY, today we had class cheer at Pasir Ris Park
I had lot of fun laughing it out and listening to crappy jokes and stupidity(:
I also got a chance to see horsey!!!
Am gonna go jogging later.
I'm gonna do wacky things as long as I still have the chance to do so.
I must uphold the fun I SHOULD have.
Thanks Adriana, Christabella and everyone else who had made my days great^^

♥risking myself.

sick & tired

2011-02-27T08:15:00.000+08:00

I want to be non-existant.
I'm tired. exhausted. lethargic.
I dun wanna keep going through this cycle over & over again
Please stop screaming at me voices.
You'll kill me one day.

♥done

Voices

2011-02-25T20:47:00.001+08:00

Everyone acts coldly towards me.
Am I that terrible?
Do I suck that bad bitches?
OMG!OMB!OMFG!
(felt like saying that. lol.)
slept like 4-5 hours per day.
syitty.shitty.fml.

♥yawn.

guarded

2011-02-20T08:26:00.001+08:00

Let sleeping dogs lie.
Let truth be kept a secret.
Let little syits keep everyone apart.
Let me be who I want to be.
I'm a pain ain't I?
Eff you for that.

♥xoxo

swuckwer(:

2011-02-19T15:25:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.
I'm sleepy.
And I'm contented(:
CCA was kinda great(:

♥lalalalalala

5 Things I DIDN'T Know About Me

2011-02-17T16:14:00.000+08:00

5. I like The Cocoa Trees! (the chocolates there are IRRESISTABLE)
4. I like sleeping late & waking up early. (I feel tired & then I feel adreline pumping)
3. I dislike being too crowded around. (alone is reallyreally good)
2. I am very unpredictable. (I do stuff I didn't know I could
1. I like PURPLE ( even though I used to hate this colour to the extreme core!)

♥woots!!!

i dun cut it

2011-02-16T19:17:00.001+08:00

i love life as it is.
But only some parts.

♥mindblind>>

Happy!

2011-02-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

I'm happy 'cos I ran last weekend!
I may have ran alone but it was great(:
I like running ya know?
I feel more alive then ever!
I feel free and there is no one who can knock me downxD
I like running 'cos I like watt^^

♥xoxo

Solitary

2011-02-11T20:16:00.001+08:00

My left knuckle is badly hurt.
But I like it that way.
The painful sensation tingles.
It makes me feel alive.
The sore of it keeps me wanting more.
I want to hurt it more.
But too many things are holding me back.
Next time, I'm a goner.
My emotions would roam this void.
I'm just waiting.

one single red rose♥

Me.

2011-02-10T16:03:00.001+08:00

I am human.
That's what the world can't see.
They slam me down with everything they've got.
They ignore me and bitch about when I'm just there.
I'm too soft.
All the pain is swelling me up but I stay strong.
I live by and get swallowed by them.
I let myself drown in the pain as I see myself suffer.
I am ironical.
I let myself die in all the hurt but I still take the pain of others.
Am I stupid?
Yes.
Becos people say that I self-pity.
Becos I hurt so bad that I can't wake up sometimes.
I feel like walking out of reality and maybe, even all this shit.
I'm killling myself but no one cares becos I'm not human in their eyes.
I'm a toy to push around and be their satisfaction factory.
One word.
me.

♥I'm not listening cos I'm deaf ain't I?

Empty

2011-02-07T16:08:00.002+08:00

You left everything empty while you're here.
You forgot to say who you are.
You left me broken & empty.
I'm sorry for who I can't be.
But I'm not sorry for what you've become.
---
Oh gosh.
I've gotta buck up
I'm going to keep trying.
I'm gonna keep pushing all the limits.
---
School sucks a little/:

♥xoxo

cweak

2011-02-05T10:29:00.001+08:00

i hav a terrible ulcer on my lower lip.
B.S.
Haha.
Anyway, my eyes are watery & I'm sleepy

♥-.-

rwandwon

2011-02-02T18:59:00.002+08:00

Rowrowrow your boat,
gently down the steam.
Merrilymerrilymerrilymerriily
Life is BUT a dream:/

♥heartshearts

snapsnap(:

2011-02-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

He is my cute little BIG bear which is technically my sisters'
He has my hoodie on and he's name is Elmo(:
These are Elly's and mine's Meringue Lemon Pie...
I met Chritie Leong on Monday, 010211 and she wrote
the above

Well, that's all for now(:
Happy Chinese New Year(:
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY KOH TZE MIN OF CLASS 4/7(:
♥With Love

When it falls.

2011-01-30T10:15:00.003+08:00

There are words that I have left behind.
A past that I never want to retell.
Lies that I feel guilty of.
Tears that I am supressing inside.
Longing that I've been feeling for too long.
...
Is this pain I feel?
My whole future is blinded by it.
People around me play deaf with me.
I can't stop feeling fu.king sad.
I feel like I'm being dragged down with force.
So much force.
I'm surrounded but why?
Why do I feel so lonely inside?
Becos I'm invinsible.
Becos I'm still empty.
Becos I'm being hated.
Becos I'm being misunderstood.
Becos I'm almost (almost) dead anyway.
...
Hear me out humans!
Tell me that I'm here!
I hurt too. JUST LIKE YOU.
Stop ignoring me!
I don't want your attention.
I JUST WANT TO STOP BEING PUT DOWN ALL THE TIME DAMMIT!
You bitch. I want to get back at you.
But I won't becos I can't.
Cos I'm torned right now.

♥i'm breaking soon.
p.s. Who knows what true loneliness is - not the conventional word but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion.
- Joseph Conrad

headbang

2011-01-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

Eff life.
♥EFF IT BITCH!

wha--

2011-01-26T19:00:00.002+08:00

I love cutting my words into half.
It's like slicing your own air.
That didn't make much sense does it?
I hate longlonglong entries so I try to keep mine short.
My Lemon Meringue Pie was kinda nice when I re-baked it(:
Know whatt else?
I'm also damn paranoid these days
LIKE ALWAYS!
(insert dimple grin)
I'm having a terrible week but...
WHO GIVES AN EFF?
♥hwapy

pourquoi?

2011-01-24T15:21:00.001+08:00

swaydayswayday.
got caught for ankle socks>.<
Woke up way too early.
& was sleepy in sch (kinda)
No English 'cos teacher never come
BUT was lucky 'cos never bring English file.
Other than that, today was okay.
Made shepherd's pie.
Will try it wif sister later.
Love-d the world.
Lol.

♥xoxo

pictures of randomness

2011-01-23T09:23:00.005+08:00

Domo.
I think I'm getting better.
But I got sick again during CCA.
My addiction hurts my knucles so bad
I was like technically in REAL physical pain
but the rage inside me takes over
& I hurt again.
Lol.
i dun understand my last few words>.<
nvm
yeah.
I'm rawsome(:

♥happy sweet 16th Anisa(:

This is Tampines somewhere(:

I had a dream.

2011-01-22T09:27:00.001+08:00

I'm trying so hard but I'm dying inside.
I can't do well if I'm almost insane.
I need another drive.
I'm almost dried out.
Almost.
♥With Love

Niji

2011-01-16T09:12:00.002+08:00

I copied myself again.
I photocopied myself then printed.
But I never come alive.
haha.
school's okay but there are PILES of hwk to finish
I guess I'm a little tired 'cos I've been daydreaming...
And the cold weather is kinda nice minus the wind.
It'll be lyk freezing cold if it's windy.
Hmm... that's all.
♥xoxo

Horror

2011-01-14T07:43:00.001+08:00

I hav no deeing idea what I'm doing.
I've been reallyreally tires
& procrastinated much.
But it's okay rite?
I'm still me rite?
Gosh. I. Am. Insane.
♥With Love

Emptiness

2011-01-11T21:16:00.001+08:00

Disappointment would last forever.
Dun regret.
Especially the big exams.

♥With Love

Super Fly

2011-01-06T15:43:00.003+08:00

No one hides from the truth 'cos the truth is always hidden.
Why can't anyone see that she's a inglorious bitch?
I'm super fly but wen i fall, i fall hard
I'm super hyper but wen I'm down, i crush my life a little more every time.
I hear lies but no one knows the difference except for me.
A potential hazard to myself...

♥I won't catch another

Lalalalala

2011-01-04T19:14:00.003+08:00

HEYHEYHEY!
First day was rubbish.
I HATE my timetable & I'm tired
Other than that,
I'm chill & super fly(:
Love y'all
(I love sweets and chocolates too)
The great person;
One wif dimple, can do handstand and is affectionate in his own wayxD
♥xoxo

Yume

2010-12-31T23:59:00.004+08:00

Au revoir 2011
Before new year comes by, I want to apologize for anything that
I've done wrong in 2010. Maybe it's my action or maybe it's my
words. Either way, I'm sorry.
I'd also like to thank everyone that helped me in my life in 2010
and entertain like crazy 'cos of my hyperness(:
Then I'd like to say...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
♥with lots and lots of love

Watashi wa iraira shite iru

2010-12-31T10:14:00.002+08:00

I'm angry 'cos I'm frustrated.
I'm angry 'cos he doesn't understand
I'm angry 'cos he kills my imagination
I'm angry 'cos I can never hate him. Ever.
I'm angry 'cos I need him more than he needs me.
I'm angry 'cos I'm so weak and I can never escape him.
But I'm angry 'cos I'm the one at fault in the first place for what I say.

♥Je suis frustré

Hoshi ni negai o kibo

2010-12-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. Lou Holtz

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

- Leonardo da Vinci

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens

Silence don't suffocate. Carbon dioxide does that. fullstop production

Love is like a bus trip with little bumps and a bag of joy. fullstop production

♥Souhaitant sur une étoile

dioaz

2010-12-26T15:37:00.002+08:00

Back from BBQ.
Had fun^^
Body aches.
Nites.

♥xoxo

Before I go

2010-12-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

Pictures of me & I

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
- William Shakespeare

Sometimes, in life, we lose our way
We take life for granted
We are ignorant to our surroundings
But in life, we also learn.
We grow, we understand & we live
In the sky, we see star & the moon
and maybe even the velvet sky
We experiment with nature
We abuse it at times
But have you ever opened your eyes?
Have you seen all the unseen?

♥A charade is still a charade

Admittance?

2010-12-24T10:03:00.005+08:00

I hate admitting.
Lol (random much...)
The picture to the left is an umbrella (courtesy of colour splash, photobucket)
The picture to the right is Allen Walker and golem Timcanpy (Anime D-gray man)
I lyk e golem cos it looks cute^^
Anyway, will be off for overseas (tmr) bbq wif family & a blast of fun(:
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.
~Henry Van Dyke
♥xoxo

Little White

2010-12-23T09:34:00.003+08:00

Snowy white winter,
I want to see that(:
It is lyk a drean that I want to fulfil
Btw, I'm done with ALL my homework!
Am going overseas for awhile from Saturday
I'm gonna have lots&lots of rest

♥xoxo